How To Deal With A Break Up From Your Boyfriend
It should be noted that there are no right or wrong ways on how you should deal with a break up with your ex boyfriend.
Each individual grieves differently for the passing of a loved one, be it a family member or a close friend, and this is true for losing your boyfriend as well.
So, you should be allowed to grieve for the end of your romantic relationship in a manner that works best for your personality, preferences and circumstances.
Of course, the assumption is that you will grieve without hurting yourself and hurting the people around you who only want to help you heal from your broken heart. There’s no sense in spreading the hurt around.
Still, there are many common and yet effective ways in how to deal with a break up from your ex-boyfriend.
You can adopt the following tips according to your own needs and wants, which will then speed up your healing.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
A break up is not the same as death but the process of healing can often take the same path. You must then allow yourself to grieve for the end of your relationship by going through the grief process.
It must be said that the stages of grief are not necessarily true for all persons for the simple reason that, again, not all individuals grieve in the same way every time.
Your ways in how to deal with a break up will differ from one person to the next and this is just fine because you loved each person differently. You may move on faster with Adam than you will with Aidan, for example.
The Stages Of Grief
You will most likely go through the following stages of grief either in their order as stated below, you may skip a few stages, or you may experience two stages at once.
• Denial and isolation happens when you withdraw from your family and friends to lick your feathers, so to speak. At some point, however, you must get out of your shell and find support.
• Anger can be directed at yourself or your ex-boyfriend usually for trying not hard enough to save the relationship. You may go through your mistakes and his mistakes as well over and over again.
• Depression comes when you feel numb although a great sadness and lingering anger remains.
• Acceptance is the most anticipated step in how to deal with a break up. You have accepted the reality of your loss in the relationship and you are ready to move on with your life without him.
Keep in mind that you are but a human being with feelings. If you must grieve for your ex-boyfriend’s departure and your relationship’s end, then do so. You will heal sooner when you learn to accept your feelings about the matter.
Be Kind to Yourself
It takes two to build a relationship and it takes two to end it as well. You must respect yourself by keeping in mind that you are not solely to blame for the end of your relationship.
You must respect yourself by not chasing after him, be it through incessant phone calls, text messages and e-mails. You must respect yourself by respecting your life’s preciousness for there is life after a break-up.
Often, the best way how to deal with a break up is to be kind to yourself. Go to a spa and pamper yourself because you may have forgotten how to do it when you were in the relationship.
Reconnect with your family and friends whom you may have withdrawn from in order to focus on your then-boyfriend. Take a vacation just so you can love yourself again and see your worth beyond your relationship.
Avoid Rebound and Revenge Relationships
Many authors on how to deal with a break up recommend hooking up with another guy so as to show that you have moved on from your previous relationship.
Not only are rebound and revenge relationships unfair to the guys involved but you will be exposing yourself to more hurt feelings when you come to your senses.
Besides, there’s no point in entering a new relationship when you have yet to recover from an old one. Heal yourself first so that you are a whole person, so to speak, before entering into a relationship with who may be Mr. Right for you.
You will find that, without pain, anger and sadness in your heart over your previous relationship, you are better able to sustain a new relationship.
These are just a few of the ways how to deal with a break up, of course, for you will find many more. The most important thing is that you are willing to heal your broken heart instead of wallowing in self-pity.